Forcing laughter, faking smiles

So, I’ve had the urge to write for a while, but I’m just now actually sitting down and doing it. Mainly cause lonelycheese15 told me I needed to. She’s actually probably the only one who will even read this, but oh well. If anyone else is reading this, I’m warning you now, it’s mainly a rant about my oh so wonderful life.

This past week or so has been pretty interesting. Had a situation involving me, my best friend, and her fiance. Basically I was an idiot and wrote some stuff I shouldn’t have. I didn’t intend to share it, but I broke down and did. That’s when it all went to hell. I never truly thought I had a shot up until a couple months ago, but I let that slight glimmer of hope get the best of me and acted like a real bitch. So now her fiance doesn’t like me all that much and doesn’t want me to come visit them once they get settled in Puerto Rico. I really hope one day I can make him see that I really do care about him, almost as much as I care about her. Maybe in time, things will calm down. I would love to be able and go visit them both like I was planning. I guess my plans are on hold for now. The one good thing is, now I have a little longer to save and plan for the trip.

Next, I’m tired of people worried about my sex life. Yes, I’m a single, 22 year old virgin. Get the fuck over it. I’ve had my opportunities; I just haven’t found anyone that I trusted enough to have sex with. I’m sorry, but if guy is going to be putting his dick inside me, I need to know that he’s being honest when I ask him if he’s clean, and I need to know that if something happens and the protection doesn’t work, I’m not going to be dealing with a pregnancy by myself. So sorry that I haven’t conformed to society and had a bunch of sex yet. And while on the subject of sex, just because I am bisexual does NOT mean I’m going to have a threesome with you and your girlfriend. Especially not when you completely forgot about me for a good year and a half and just recently started talking to me again. Don’t even pretend you know me. If you knew me, you’d know I have moods where I don’t want to talk to ANYONE. I have moods where I just want to hide myself away from everyone with only my stuffed animals for company. Just because I say nothing is up doesn’t mean something is wrong. It’s actually a GOOD thing for me to not have a whole list of things wrong. So seriously, back the fuck off. I’m not sleeping with you, I’m not sleeping with your girl. There are only like 2 people who I’m attracted to and trust enough to sleep with and you aren’t on the list.

The lack of religious tolerance frustrates me. That plus people thinking the Bible is the law of the land instead of the Constitution. Separation of church and state is a fairly basic concept people. I could write a whole blog on this subject alone, but seriously…just let people believe how they want to believe. And don’t make people go to church if all you’re going to do is sleep through the entire sermon. I believe what I want to believe. For the most part it’s different from my family’s viewpoint. That doesn’t mean it’s wrong, and it certainly doesn’t mean I want your viewpoints shoved down my throat every single day.

Finally, for god’s sake shut up about the Steelers. Great, they made it to the Super Bowl. No need to change the Lord’s Prayer to say something about the Steelers and do a ton of other stupid little things to spam my facebook newsfeed. And get off your damn high horse. Everyone is entitled to their opinion; people are allowed to say the Steelers suck just like you are allowed to say they are the most amazing team ever. Just because someone lives in “Steelers country” doesn’t automatically make them a Steelers fan. I’ll stick with my Cowboys, no matter what their record was, thank you very much.

Time for 2011

Another year is coming to an end.  2010 was actually a fairly calm year for me personally.  After a couple of very eventful years, it was actually nice to not have a really eventful year for once.  I did finally have a full course load for the first time since I took my break from college and managed to get good grades in all my classes.  I did have some downsides too, but that’s to be expected. As for resolutions, I didn’t make any last year.  I never seem to keep them, so last year I just didn’t see the point in making them.  However, I think I’ll make a couple this year and actually try to accomplish them.

1. Be a better friend.  I take my friends for granted too much.  They deal with my extreme moodiness all the time.  I need to reign in my moods, learn to chill, and just be a good friend to them.

2. Figure out what the hell I want in my life and actually take steps to accomplish that.  I will never accomplish anything sitting downstairs in my grandmother’s basement.  I need to be out on my own, living my own life, making my own decisions.

3. Be more responsible.  I am very irresponsible.  I need to take responsibility for my actions, thoughts, feelings and emotions.  I also need to be more responsible with my money and be more responsible for keeping my room organized better.
Every year about this time, I say something to some of the people that mean a lot to me…so here I go.
Chelsey–Thanks for helping me keep my head on straight.  You always speak your mind and tell it to me straight, which I really do appreciate.  I need someone to keep me grounded in this crazy world.
Bethany–Wifey, you’re amazing.  You are one of my biggest supporters no matter what and I know that I can talk to you about anything and everything.  You mean the world to me and I have no problem admitting that introducing you to me was the one good thing that came from one of my past relationships.
Justin–I am glad that I’ve gotten to really know you this year.  You are truly different from any guy I’ve ever met.  Keep treating my bff like you’ve been treating her; you’re doing a great job.  I’m glad you make her so happy.
Teremarie–I think you’re amazing.  I’m proud to call you my best friend.  You may be younger than I am, but I look up to you.  You’ve succeeded in moving out of your parents’ home and you’ve made a new home in a place far away from where you grew up.  We’ve definitely had our ups and downs, but through it all you’ve put up with me.  I only hope that I mean half as much to you as you do to me.  I can’t wait to see you.  Seeing you will truly make 2011 the best year J  <3 you always

NaNoWriMo Post #1

For those that don’t know, November is National Novel Writing Month.  People all over the world pledge to write 50,000 words (which is the amount of words needed for a story to qualify as a novel) by the end of November.  I don’t know if I’ll make it to 50,000, but Chelsey suggested I do this, I’ve had a story outline saved on my computer for a while, and honestly I need a good stress reliever.  So I’ll be posting, hopefully almost every day.  Basically my story will be a modern day love story, with friendship, love, heartbreak, and overcoming obstacles.  I will warn you, it’s about 2 girls, so if homosexuality is not your cup of tea, don’t read.  There may be some cursing and adult content, but the real adult stuff won’t come into play until the last part of the story.  Here’s what I wrote today, though I’ll admit, I ended up coming up with another story idea halfway through.  Enjoy and feel free to leave comments!

 

Present Day– Jade’s thoughts

The room was completely dark, the only light coming from the moonlight shining through the cracks in the blinds and the illuminated display of the clock on the other side of the bed.  1:24 am.  I should be tired enough to sleep, but once again my brain wouldn’t shut down long enough to allow me a decent night’s sleep.  A replay of the night’s activities ran through my mind like a movie.  I smiled and immediately looked towards my companion, knowing just how lucky I was that she was lying next to me.  Her bare back shone in the moonlight, illuminating her perfect, pale skin.  I reached out my hand and very gently stroked her warm skin.  Ten years I had loved this woman with all my heart, through many trials and tribulations, through the highest highs and lowest lows.  Ours was not a fairy tale by any stretch of imagination.  It was a real love story, a story of persistence, a story of defying the odds and overcoming the greatest obstacles.  A story for the ages that began in the most innocent of ways…
10 years earlier…
Jade walked over to her computer and sank down into the chair.  She hit the power button, leaned her head back, and sighed.  It had been a long day and all she wanted to do was relax. Lurking on the forums for vampire lovers as she did most evenings, Jade stumbled on a post with a link to a chat room.  She clicked the link out of boredom, hoping for the best yet not knowing it would forever change her life.

Jade did not have many friends.  Most people saw her as weird or strange.  They didn’t understand why she was happy in jeans and t shirts instead of dressing in girly outfits and wearing makeup.  They refused to see past her rather plain appearance and take the time to truly get to know her.  Despite having only a few friends, Jade knew that the friends she did have were truly amazing, even if most of them lived hours away.  She wouldn’t trade her current friends even if it meant she’d gain a hundred new ones.

A conversation was already in full swing among the regulars in the chat room.  Jade, after making a username out of her name and her favorite vampire’s name, quietly entered the chat, telling herself she’d leave after a few minutes if no one spoke to her.  To her surprise, she was welcomed by several people and included in their conversation.  They seemed truly interested by her and were quite welcoming to the “newbie”.  She instantly liked them all, though she seemed the most drawn to a very outgoing girl named Angelina.

To Angelina, the regulars in the chat room were basically one big family.  They’d been chatting together almost every night for a few months by this point and got along extremely well.  However, they weren’t an exclusive club; sometimes someone would post a link on a message board, hoping to find new, like-minded people, usually girls, to join in their very interesting conversations.  Several “newbies” had entered the chat, made polite conversation for a few minutes, then left, never to be seen again.  At first, Angelina figured the new girl, Jade, would be just like most of the others, especially because she was so shy at first, preferring to listen rather than talk.  As the minutes turned to hours, she realized that maybe her first impression had been wrong.  When Jade signed off for the night, Angelina found herself hoping that she did find her way back to the chat room.

The next night, Jade did find her way back to the chat room, hoping it wasn’t just a fluke.  As minutes once again turned to hours, Jade found herself feeling a sense of belonging.  She wasn’t the most talkative person in the room, but she did feel that she could talk at any point.  There wasn’t one “leader”; everyone was equal.  The girls came from all different cultures; Jade was from West Virginia, while others were from Puerto Rico, Australia, Venezuela, and various states in the U.S.A.  Despite their differences, they united together because of their love of vampires and werewolves.

Jade became more comfortable with the girls, so as she came back night after night, she started talking more, revealing more about herself and learning more about the girls.   Angelina was the girl that seemed to always be in the chat room, no matter what time of day it was.  Almost any time Jade logged in, she was there, waiting for anyone who might come.

Soon Jade and Angelina began to have long, in depth conversations about themselves, their lives, their dreams, anything and everything.  They begin taking their conversations to a messaging service so that the conversations can be more private and not shared with everyone who entered the chat.  Since they were often the only two in the chat, they would stay logged in waiting for others while talking privately on messenger.

Jade had trouble trusting people, but something in her heart told her to trust Angelina.  She was having difficulties with her “best friend”, so she was very wary, especially because she had been backstabbed numerous times in the past.  She decided to take a risk on Angelina.  She began trusting her with small bits of private information, to test and see if it would be leaked to any of the other girls.  Soon though, she had very few secrets from Angelina and considered her to be her best friend. Angelina too had trust issues.  She had been hurt numerous times, and it seemed that anyone she had ever cared about eventually hurt her and left.  Yet, she couldn’t help but trust Jade.  She knew her current best friend was more just someone to hang out with and less someone to trust with your deepest darkest secrets.  Soon, she was letting Jade in on most aspects of her life.

Jade had a slight problem though.  She developed a major crush on Angelina.  Jade had never really thought of herself as bisexual, although one of her ex-boyfriends had claimed that he could tell that she was bisexual but was denying it because of her very conservative upbringing.  Sure, she had found some female actresses attractive, but never before had she actually had a complete crush on a female friend.  At first, she tried to dismiss it, pretend that it was nothing more than just thinking Angelina was hot.  After a while though, Jade begin to realize that she liked more than just her curly hair, her gorgeous soulful brown eyes, her hourglass figure, and the way she always wore sunglasses and a smirk.  She loved the way she felt when talking to Angelina, the conversations they had, the jokes they shared, the compassion and love that Angelina exuded. Since Angelina had a steady boyfriend and since Jade wasn’t sure how Angelina would feel about her crush, she decided it was best to just keep it a secret for now.

Stop the Drama!!

Why does drama seem to follow me wherever I go?  Just as I get one situation under control, another appears.  Am I doomed to live in a drama filled bubble the rest of my life?  Less than a week after the whole situation with Amanda occurred where I made a conscious decision to end our friendship for the sake of my mental health, another situation has come up.

Anyone reading this probably has heard about the situation.  One of my friends tweeted what appeared to be an actual question; another friend responded with her opinion, and a subsequent fight ensued.  I thought it was over the first day, but others got involved and took sides.  I was the one person attempting to stay neutral but still ended up playing messenger.  This blog may come back to bite me in the ass, but I can’t keep biting my tongue.

I’m sick of the crap.  I spent most of high school stuck in between two groups.  I don’t want a repeat of that, yet that is what’s occurring.

Seriously, anything posted to Twitter can be seen by your followers.  ALL your tweets.  ALL your followers.  Even if sent to another person, it still appears on your page and can be seen.  If you post something that appears to be in the form of a question, expect responses.  You know, I almost replied to D’s tweet first.  More than just Tere thought that was a serious question.  We’d seen your previous tweets about hot half naked workers, therefore we assumed you were serious.  Then you kept trying to say the tweet wasn’t even about you.  I looked on your page.  You were tweeting to one of your twitter friends about how you couldn’t believe you missed out on your one last chance to perv!  I also didn’t appreciate you complaining to others about the “immature teenagers” and how they wouldn’t say stuff to your face.  You were doing the exact same thing.  All Tere did was give her opinion, then defend her opinion.  If you read this, I’m sure you’ll be pissed as hell, but I’m tired of keeping my mouth shut.  And while I’m at it, Tere is a damn good friend.  Sure she’s pissed me off before and upset me, but I can’t think of one friend who hasn’t.  It doesn’t matter; friends fight.  What matters is a couple hours later we’re talking as usual cause we love each other.

To the people who jumped in, I love you all but you shouldn’t have jumped in.  I understand why you did, wishing to defend the viewpoint you saw as correct.  But it really just aggravated the situation.  Sometimes it’s better to just not say anything.

I sat here for a few minutes trying to find something to say to Tere but the thing is, I completely agree with her.  Ok, maybe she shouldn’t have spoken her mind and maybe she shouldn’t have cussed.  But honestly, that’s just who she is.  I respect her for speaking her mind despite what others may think.

So yeah, I guess I’m a little biased.  But this is honestly what I think.  If I disagreed with Tere, I’d tell her because I know that even if we disagree, at the end of the day we’re still going to be best friends.  I would hope my friendship with D is strong enough to survive this.  I just can’t keep biting my tongue cause it kills me inside.

The end of 2009

As one year ends and another begins….yeah millions of people around the world are probably writing blogs that begin in a similar fashion, talking about whether they kept their new year’s resolutions from last year and what their resolutions for this year are.  Well I’m not going to exactly do that.  I don’t remember what my resolutions from last year were, let alone whether I accomplished them or not.  I don’t see the point in making any this year; it’s a nice sentiment but we all know new year’s resolutions are just made to be broken within a week.

2009 was a rough year for many reasons, yet, despite what my grandma may think, I consider it a good year.  The roughest part was probably the passing of my grandpa in March, shortly after my 21st birthday.  But despite that happening, good things also happened.  I finally started back to college and proved to myself that I could do it by earning a 4.0 GPA both semesters.  My self confidence, while still severely lacking, improved by leaps and bounds.  I became more emotionally stable.  Most of all I met some wonderful people who truly enrich my life.  I dedicate this to the people who make my life worth living.

Bethany, my best friend, my wife :-p. (For all those confused, it’s an inside joke.)  I love you so damn much.   I honestly don’t know where I’d be today without you.  You have helped me through bad situations and been one of my biggest cheerleaders during good situations.  I will never forget how you took time out of your birthday just to make sure I was ok when grandpa died.  Hopefully 2010 turns out to be the year we finally get to meet.

Chelsey, you always give me your honest opinion no matter what, even if it’s to say that I’m being an idiot.  Your sarcasm keeps me laughing during even the worst times, and I’m so glad I have someone to share my hatred of idiots with.

Allison, your insanity and our random chats are things I look forward to so much.  You will never know how much it means to me that you and JD have taken time out to come visit me, even when I can’t come visit you.  Oh, and this is for you, since you’ve probably worn your other one out…*hands brand new pool noodle*.

Diana, you are truly the big sister I always wanted.  You make getting up at 6 am every morning worth it.  Our chats are truly something I look forward to every day and they really mean a lot to me.  Thank you for all the times you’ve listened to my rambling, for putting up with my lengthy and often daily face book messages, and for being there for me no matter what.  Thank you for all the advice you have given and for being one of my biggest supporters.  I love you big sis and wish you didn’t live on the other side of the world!

Tere, what do I say about you?  I’m still unsure as to why you put up with me sometimes, but I’m so grateful that you do.  Despite only knowing you a few months, we’ve certainly had our share of ups and downs, but somehow we made it through.  You’ve never given up on me even when I gave up on myself and for that I thank you.  You are a wonderful friend, and I’m sorry that I tend to frustrate you quite often.  I promise, I am yours, forever or until you get tired of me, whichever comes first.  I love you so much.

I have so many other people who bring joy to my life, but if I named them all, I’d be here until the end of next year.  So to all my friends, I do love you all so much and hope that all your wishes for 2010 come true.

Never Right

I am never right.  It’s a simple fact of life that I really should just learn to accept.  Despite a few of my friends claiming that I am actually right most times, I am not often right.  Even when I think I’m doing the right thing, I’m not right.

All summer, my grandmother urged me to get a job.  I tried.  I applied several places, but did exclude fast food.  I didn’t get hired anywhere, so all summer, grandma complained about me not having a job.  Well I’ve got a job now.  It may only be seasonal, but I at least have a job currently.  You’d think that would make her happy.

Well, the saying about what happens when you assume has definitely proven itself true.  Ever since I was hired, I’ve heard nothing but complaints from her.  The first was the fact that my interview and orientation were on Sundays.  Now the complaint is about my late hours.  I understand it’s not the ideal situation, but honestly there is absolutely nothing I can do.  I’m the low man on the totem pole; I take what hours they’ll give me.  If I tell them I can’t work after 5 pm and can’t work at all on Sundays, do you think I’m actually going to get any hours?

I understand transportation is a big issue, but honestly, I will find my way home.  I understand that everyone desires for me to get my permit, but honestly it will not help the current situation. I have to have it for 30 days before I am allowed to even test for the license.  Plus I do not have a car and cannot afford a car on my own, unless I use the money I have set aside for college.  Life isn’t ideal.  We have to work through less than ideal situations.  If you told me 5 years ago that at this point in time I would be barely a sophomore, living with Grandma, and without a license, I would have laughed at you.  But that’s the point I’m at today, and all I can do is just continue to work towards my ultimate goal.

Just let me be 21, let me make my own decisions.  It’s not the best situation, but I just need to make the best of it.  It may not be really safe walking at night, but honestly, is it any worse than when I walked after dark in Clarksburg or Morgantown?  Is it truly safe in the daylight?  I could be run over walking to the bus to go to work tomorrow.  You never know what’s going to happen from day to day, so you can’t live your life in fear.  You have to just take one day at a time and live each day as if you were dying.  You can’t be afraid of dying.  It happens to everyone.  I may die tomorrow by getting run over.  I may die 70 years from now just from old age.  I’m just going to live to the best of my ability.  So, JUST LET ME LIVE!!!

Summit = Epic Fail

Two days ago, I saw a press release from Summit Entertainment, the company that produces the Twilight saga, stating that Bryce Dallas Howard would be replacing Rachelle LeFevre as Victoria in the upcoming movie Eclipse.  I was shocked to say the least.  Just a couple days ago, Rachelle was talking about how excited she was to film Eclipse, because for those that don’t know, Eclipse is when Victoria gets the most attention because she is the main bad guy.  Though I loved the way Rachelle portrayed Victoria in Twilight, Eclipse was going to be the movie where she could really prove that she was Victoria.

Sadly that won’t happen because of the idiot executives at Summit.

In the first press release, Summit cited scheduling conflicts and made it sound like the split was amicable.  That’s not the case.  Rachelle was just as surprised as any Twilight fan when Ron Howard’s daughter was announced as the new Victoria. As for the “scheduling conflict”, it involved an overlap of ten days.  Yes,  you heard right, ten days.  Then Summit fires back after Rachelle releases her statement basically pointing the finger of blame at Rachelle, saying that she knew about when filming would take place, and that she wasn’t truly passionate about Eclipse.

Excuse me, Rachelle not passionate about the Twilight saga?  If that’s true, then NO ONE in the cast is passionate about the Twilight saga, and Summit should just replace everyone.  Obviously there are two sides to this story, just like there are two sides to every story.  Summit says Rachelle is at fault, Rachelle says she didn’t know that accepting a short side project would cause her to be replaced, and the fans are up in arms, many calling, emailing, and writing Summit to get Rachelle back.  I’ll be honest, I don’t know the whole story, but I do know a few things.

Rachelle is not the first cast member to have a side project going on during filming.  During Twilight, Cam Gigandet (aka James) had scheduling conflicts so his scenes were shot around his other schedule.  In fact, they shot the big ballet scene FIRST, because he was working on something else.  New Moon filming was somewhat worked around Jackson Rathbone’s schedule, with his scenes being shot toward the beginning of filming so that he could go shoot The Last Airbender.  Why could Rachelle not be accommodated like the others?

I may not know much about Hollywood, but I would be willing to bet that recasting doesn’t usually take just a couple days.  This means that Summit has been looking to recast for a few months.

Rachelle actually turned down several bigger offers that would have involved longer shooting schedules because of Eclipse.  She picked this indie film because it had a very short shooting schedule that she thought could be worked around (just like it was worked around for Cam and Jackson).  Doesn’t that say she’s committed?  Can you fault her for wanting one tiny side project?

Rachelle is one of the most passionate of the entire cast.  She is always out there, giving Twitter updates, interacting with fans, and promoting the saga as much as possible.  You can’t say that about the entire cast.  Nikki Reed has basically been missing in action the entire summer (though she did come to the special Twilight screening at comic con).

It is never a good idea to recast in the middle of a movie series or TV show.  Sometimes it can’t be avoided, such as when an actor dies (like in Harry Potter).  But, to be honest, it took the new Headmaster Dumbledore a couple movies to finally become the Dumbledore we all know and love.  The Twilight saga doesn’t have a couple of movies for Bryce to slip into the role of Victoria; Victoria dies during Eclipse.

I honestly think that having Bryce as Victoria will ruin Eclipse. I have no clue what kind of actress she is; I’d never even heard of her until Summit announced her casting.  She will ruin it because quite simply, Rachelle is Victoria.  Rachelle made Victoria by taking a character that was written on a piece of paper and making her real, and for the most part, people want Rachelle to continue being Victoria.

I’m going to go see New Moon.  Rachelle is still Victoria in that one.  But I honestly don’t know if I will go see Eclipse if Bryce is Victoria. Eclipse is my favorite book and the movie that I was most looking forward to, but I honestly don’t know if I will want to go see it.  I am quite capable of holding off and not seeing movies; I still haven’t seen the newest Underworld or Saw.

I know some people are going to agree with me.  I know some people are going to disagree.  Honestly, if you are just going to yell at me, or just tell me how ridiculous I’m being because it’s “just a movie” don’t even bother leaving a comment.  This is how I feel and how I will continue to feel because I feel that a great injustice has occurred.

All great games have their faults…

For about a month now, I’ve been playing a game called Wizard 101.  My cousin got me hooked on it when I was at his house for a visit.  It’s really a great game.  It’s got turn based fights using spells that are located on cards, plus customizeable characters, plus it involves wizards.  I can go through the game at my own pace, and while some areas do cost money to access, the cost is very reasonable.

Unfortunately in my time playing I’ve discovered a major downfall, the menu chat.  The menu chat is required for players under 13, although anyone can use it.  It consists of a preset number of phrases that can be said, so you can talk but only if it’s one of the approved phrases.  It’s great and prevents a lot of younger kids from saying and/or seeing bad words and helps protect them from giving out personal information, but they don’t have quite all the phrases they need to have.

I’ll accept almost anyone as a friend, because usually they want my help for a mission, then they go about their own business.  So a couple days ago I accepted a friend request from a higher level person with menu chat (instead of text chat which is what I have).  Using menu chat she then asked me to help her in Marleybone, which is a world I haven’t gotten to yet. I told her, using menu chat, that I didn’t have that quest.  So she then asked me if I needed help with any quests, so I told her about one of my quests in Krokotopia.  After she helped me with that, she again asked if I would help her in Marleybone.  I agreed, though I figured I’d probably die fairly easy.  She told me to teleport to her, and I tried.  I purchased the area, but unfortunately the area had to load.  She kept asking me to teleport to her, and the most I could say was wait a minute.  I couldn’t explain to her that Marleybone was loading, or that I couldn’t teleport to her. Finally after about 10 minutes of waiting, I could finally access Marleybone…only to be stuck at a loading screen when I tried to follow her into an elevator.  At this point, I gave up for the night and vowed to think twice before agreeing to help someone with menu chat.

Well for the past couple days, I’ve been farming bosses I’ve already defeated to earn some gold and XP and potentially some better gear.  Iwent in the Throne Room of Fire on Krokotopia and was on the last boss.  I was holding my own (I would have been doing great if my death spells hadn’t fizzled) when another person from my friends list ported in.  At first I didn’t mind because she was one I had teamed up with a few times and she showed herself to be pretty good at battling.  But after a 3rd enemy had been brought in, she just disappeared.  After her disappearing act, I died because I couldn’t handle 3 on 1.

So menu chat needs a couple more phrases added.  One could be, That location is still loading.  Another could be, May I port to you or May I join your battle.  Finally maybe add, Ask before porting/joining.  Anyway that’s just my two cents.

Church Chat

Today I went to a town hall style meeting at the church I attend.  The meeting was to discuss possible changes in the church in order to reach out to people better. Usually  I don’t get involved in church business seeing as how I’m not even a Christian, but for some reason I felt compelled to go and speak my opinion about ways to change the church for better.

A few weeks ago, the congregation was given a survey about the quality of the worship service.  We were asked to rate different aspects of the service (from 1-10) on how meaningful each part is, rate how you feel the service helps you encounter God, rate how well the service reaches different age groups, and then state how much change you were comfortable with and what kind of change you thought was needed.  I’ll be honest, when I filled out the survey, most things got low marks.  The current service caters to my grandmother’s generation.  It honestly doesn’t speak to me really at all.

At the church chat, I was pleased to see that the majority of people believe that change is a good thing and needed in order to draw more young people, more of my generation into the church and to retain them long term.  There were a variety of ideas: get rid of certain things, add certain things, get people to attend Sunday School, bring back the praise band, start an additional contemporary service.  For the most part people were open.

Unfortunately, and I’m sure this is true in most churches, some people are very resistant to change and those people seem to be some of the most vocal people in the church.  The pastor suggested that instead of saying the Lord’s Prayer every Sunday, we only say it on communion Sunday and I thought a couple people were going to have coronaries because of the suggestion.  I’m afraid this might halt any good changes the church might try to implement, just because the minority is so vocal.

I made one suggestion, adding more modern Christian music to the service at least occasionally.  After all, people my age are more likely to listen to it on a daily basis than listen to some of the old hymns.  We are the future of the church after all, so they should at least consider trying to help us on our journey.  The pastor brought up a good point that people my age tend to discover God more through acts than traditional church services.  They are more likely to do some good for someone and discover God, or go to camp or some sort of rally and discover God then discover God sitting in church every Sunday morning.  I know that’s true for me.  I’m more likely to finally discover God through music, my friends, and just my own journey of self discovery than I am sitting in a sanctuary every Sunday.

I didn’t really cause problems, though one time I was very close to turning around and going off on someone.  This lady, probably around my aunt’s age, starts talking about how the sermon is supposed to be what’s reaching you and that if the sermon isn’t reaching you then you probably don’t have a strong faith in Christ and shouldn’t even be in church.  Well, last I checked, the church’s main purpose was to bring new people to Christ and help EVERYONE grow in their faith and help further their relationship with God.  The church should want more unsaved people, like me, to come in and attend services because for each unsaved person who attends, that’s one more potential Christian.  The sermon isn’t necessarily going to be what reaches everyone the strongest.  For me, music will always reach me the strongest.  I can understand wanting to keep the sermon the main part of the service, but she had no right to basically say that if you couldn’t be reached by the sermon, it was your own fault.  Every single time I’ve even gotten somewhat close to becoming a Christian, it’s been because of a song I heard or sang, not because of the sermon I just heard.

What’s the correct answer? Heck if I know.  But I have a feeling that the church will get nowhere, simply because some people are so resistant to change.  If change doesn’t occur, then eventually all the older people are going to die off, and the young people like me who have never been touched by the services, who have never become Christian, are going to stop going because their families stop making them go.  The future of the church depends on reaching people like me; they should really listen to people like me when we give them ideas.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

I went to see the new Harry Potter film today.  I’ll be honest that I was a little worried about what the movie would be like, mainly because I’ve been disappointed in previous Harry Potter films (especially Sorcerer’s Stone).  Luckily I would say this is one of the best Harry Potter films I’ve seen thus far, though it still had much room for improvement. My e njoyment may have been partially due to me only reading this particular book once, that one time being a few years ago when it first came out.  So take this review with a grain of salt; I don’t remember everything from the book accurately and my copy is at my parents’ and unable to be used for a reference material.  There are spoilers, so if you don’t want to know all about the movie, stop reading now.

I’m honestly not sure what was going on in the beginning of the movie.  First Harry is flirting with some random Muggle, then he’s whisked away by Dumbledore, then he’s dropped off in the middle of a marshy field near the Weasley household.  I did love Fred and George and their store.  It was perfect and better than I imagined.

What was up with Narcissa’s hair? Seriously? Her hair was awful. Plus she didn’t grovel with Snape at all.

I am a huge fan of Severus, Draco, and Bellatrix.  It seems to me that Slytherin has the best actors.  They all portrayed their parts very well.  The overall acting was great in this movie, but those three just stood out in my opinion.

I think the movie focused a bit much on teenage romance/angst.  It definitely made the movie lighter, and for the first 2/3 of the movie, my friend and I spent most of the time laughing.  But it did eventually start to take away from the movie.  Lavendar was great but overplayed.  I can only hear Won Won so many times before it gets old.  Seeing Harry and Ginny dancing around each other was ok, because they’ve been doing that forever at this point.  The scene where Hermione basically breaks down about Ron really touched me, which is saying something since I’ve been a die hard Harry/Hermione shipper since day one.  Plus I loved the part where she sent those birds after him; I actually cheered out loud in the theater.  Ron asking Harry if he and Ginny did it right after they  kissed sent me into a fit of giggles.  Cormac was the sleezebag he was in the book and was well portrayed.

While overall the film stays true to the book, there were several things that were changed that I didn’t like.  It’s mentioned that Snape is the DADA teacher, but you don’t see one DADA class. In fact, you don’t see any classes besides the potions class when Harry gets the Half Blood Prince’s potions book and one other potions class that Harry comes in after.  Did they just suddenly stop taking classes? Plus, Snape’s reveal as the Half Blood Prince was awful.  In the book, a lot more research and time is dedicated to finding the identity of the Half Blood Prince.  Plus the battle between Harry and Severus is not really like it is in the book.  Snape doesn’t even say the line about not being a coward.  I was severely disappointed that there was no real battle at Hogwarts and that there was no funeral for Dumbledore, though I knew from reviews that they weren’t in the film.

Draco was wonderful.  He played evil, but at the critical moments, showed that he was still just a teenage boy seeking acceptance.  Plus Tom Felton is gorgeous.

Some things could have been done differently, but overall I was pleased with the movie.  It stuck to the basic plotline and I think there’s enough of a setup for the last movies. While I’m not eager to see Snape die or Hermione and Ron kiss, I am eager to see how they adapt the final book, especially since it’s being made into two movies.  Hopefully I won’t be disappointed.

Until those movies, I can concentrate on New Moon and Eclipse.  Both are set to come out before the Deathly Hallows part 1, though sometimes release dates do change.